Posts in Lesbian
Coming Out Later in Life - Letting Go of Fear - The Struggle to Come Out

Many of us couldn’t care less if a friend, a family member or our kids were gay.   WE were the only people who could NOT be gay. That is internalized homophobia in a nutshell.  

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Coming Out Later in Life - Letting Go of Fear - The Act of Letting Go

At the end of those excruciating months, those fingers that were so tightly clenched, clutched, wrapped around the intricate threads of my then life began to loosen and let go of fear as I was birthed into a beautiful unimagined new life.  

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Coming Out Later in Life - Letting Go of Fear - Mom, Me, and the Library

In the sacred space of this library my emotions suddenly became heightened with very sweet memories of my mom.  I am not used to sharp focused pleasant memories; the lens is usually colored by so many other thoughts.   She was one smart cookie and probably would have flourished in an academic life, not raising five children. 

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Coming Out Later in Life - Letting Go of Fear - A Coming Out Story - Part II

Saying to myself, “I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t be gay, I can’t be gay, I can’t change my life, I have a husband, children, career, I can’t be gay.”  In this beautiful place of worship, God asked me to finally acknowledge who I was created to be, perfectly in God’s image.  I could not because it was too complicated, too hard, too painful, too jarring.  In reality, it was fear, cold hard naked fear, that had left me paralyzed in a heterosexual normative that I did not fit.  


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Coming Out Later in Life - Letting Go of Fear - Ordained to Come Out - Part I

In a nanosecond, the answer popped into my head.  “I think I am gay.”  I will forever remember the time between when the thought became the spoken as I stared off into space. I thought about the previous ten years when I had made various attempts to come out.

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